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On Sex and Death

June 10, 2010

Sex and Death.

The bookends of our lives.

Sex is the door by which we enter, death the door by which we depart.

Any surprise then that these two words and all they imply rule our lives? As they should.

It is our rather tortured relationship with them, in these rather troubled and troubling times, that the problem lies.

We be-came of sex, whether it was an act, a ritual, a fling, something. That moment of the coupling of the masculine and the feminine, bookends the beginning of each of our lives. And have no doubt, the energy around your conception is the first layer wrapped around your core, the seed from which you have grown to the point of reading this blog. Blob to blog.

So the sounds, the light, the feeling, the texture, the scream, the moan….they are your first embedded markers, shaping you for the rest of your life. Trippy when you think of it that way eh? But if you can accept that and in studying your parents, dive back to the moment it all began for you, tremendous release awaits. They are the unseen hand of the first sub-conscious, pulling you in ways and directions you have no idea about.

But more on this at another time.


And Death begins it’s existence at the very same instance. All that is born must die. Like all polarities, Life and death sit entwined like the symbol of yin and yang. Inextricably bound.

Like light and shadow, one cannot be without the other.

Sex=Life. So we go on seeking it. Life eternal if we could just keep having sex! Hah, if only it was all so simple eh? Think about that one for a bit, a longer piece later.

Death. Now here is an interesting thing. We die to be born. The process of actual birth is death for the fetus so life for the baby. One breathed not, lived in water, fed by a tube in it’ s belly. Then the passage out. Squeezing through the tunnel. At the other end, light, air to be breathed. Food consumed through the mouth.

I say that it is clear that the fetus dies so the child may be born.

So, first birth through sex. Second birth through a mini-death (or at least not perceived as such). Maybe this should be the impetus needed to celebrate death? At the moment of birth, we are actually celebrating a simultaneous death. And think of the surroundings of this second birth. Uffffff…… bright lights, plastic gloves, slap on the bottom to make you cry. Your first sound to the world is a wail.

Does it have to be this way?


More in a bit….

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Rick permalink
    June 10, 2010 2:15 pm

    Going from fetus to infant is NOT a death. It is simply a transition from one state to another.
    How about going from child to adult through puberty? No death here either but certainly a large physical change.
    Take egg > larva > pupa > adult for complete metamorphosis in insects. Does each stage “die” to birth the next? I don’t think so.

    • June 10, 2010 8:04 pm

      Greetings Rick,

      One of the points this was going to culminate in in later posts was that death is merely a transition too. Just a phase change.

      We are in agreement. All phase changes, just differing in magnitude of overtness/covertness.

  2. Paul permalink
    June 10, 2010 2:16 pm

    Sorry but off topic, coming from ZH , am interested in your opinion of the situation in India and how it will cope with the coming financial apocalyspe. How do you think India will cope? Will some states fare better than others or will the whole system collapse, i.e. food production, transport, social cohesion, etc. I have been to Goa, Kerala, Karnaka, New Dehli and Calcuta and Sringar so am somewhat familiar with your country and am thinking of finding a “hideaway” there. Thank you for any feedback.

    • June 10, 2010 8:01 pm

      Welcome aboard Paul and actually nothing is really off-topic here, as you might be able to tell from the topics covered so far.
      Would you like to exchange notes over e-mail, or here in comments?

  3. Stephen Baze permalink
    March 26, 2011 10:54 pm

    Interesting concepts, but on birth, I think of it more as a metamorphasis, like a butterfly. Stages of one event playing out as one not seperate. Or perahps a caterpillar etc. Seems more logical and accurate to me?

    Just how the sex act affects us from our parents actual reality at the time is a very deep concept indeed. I have wondered how my mothers feelings/reactions were of me when she was carrying me? Good/bad/indifferent? I never had that discussion with her and now wish I had. Some women consider child bearing a very difficult act and others find pure joy. Funny how we don’t think to ahve those conversations until it is too late?

    • March 27, 2011 5:17 pm

      Stephen, I don’t see death as a bad thing or word, so feel really comfortable calling it a death. But I see your point, perhaps it’s just semantical differences?

      And I learned a LOT by pestering my mother about my birth. A lot. It was a major turning point for me.
      I also happen to born of 6th August, hiroshima day and have “felt” the nuclear horror, like a tsunami last year though, which prompted my Nuclear series.
      Everyone should examine their birth carefully, very important lessons in there. And we should ask them sooner rather than later.
      Thanks for sharing.

  4. Judah Ruddy permalink
    July 21, 2012 4:31 pm


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