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Love-Overused-Undone

June 22, 2010
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Greetings,

Off tomorrow on  a trip to one of the most fascinating places in the world. A city called Hampi, in Karnataka, a UN world Heritage site. But that says nothing. Impossible to describe it’s uniqueness sitting here in Bangalore, so I’ll try to do it from there, with some pictures. For a sneak peek though, go HERE and click around. Ancient, ancient magic everywhere. Beyond description. Please dig around on the site if my posting from Hampi is delayed.

For today’s thoughts, I want to share my views on what I consider one of the most overused and now largely empty/hollow words that rings around us all the day, all the time, in our books, on TV, in the movies, on the radio, in our conversastions…. Love.

Having strong feelings about this topic, I’ll keep it short so I don’t go too long! 🙂

We hear it all the time in different aspects of our lives. I love you honey, l love you son, I love you mom, I love Bangalore, I love New York, Love dramas, love festivals, love is all we have, love can heal everything, love thy neighbour…. and on and on and on. First love, second love, love lost, won, found, sought…. I think, harking back to my earlier post on sex and death, sex is the undertone, death is the overtone and love(spoken)  is, especially in it’s current form the dissonant tonal expression of our collective existence.

Individuals of course have unique experiences, I’m speaking here of us as a species.

So what’s the problem?

We say it too much and do it too little. Everywhere I go, conversations I’m a participant in or overhear, everybody is telling everybody else how much they love them. Sure, we say it a lot. As often as we can. As if by saying it enough, we could convince ourselves and the object of the said word that love, indeed, existed.

But I do not see equivalent action. And through overuse, again and again and again, the word has lost it’s resonance. Say it with love.

I say do it with love.

Enough of this love talk already. Love is not a word, it is an active, dynamic connecting entity. Saying love a million times will not make you a lover. Doing loving things a million times will.

See my point, mien punkt?

Like most other things in our de-vitalized existance, we cannot do much anymore. Our voices, our actions lack authenticity. But we live in our heads and are quick to speak. We can say and say and talk and talk till we are blue in the face. But we lack the vitality to do things with the same intensity or resonance.

And in my eyes, love is the prime example. Saying I love you has become a cheap substitute for DOING I love you. Except on the Archie’s Card Designated Day for loving X. Say it with a card on Father’s day. Say it with flowers on mother’s day. Say it.

See?

We need to become doers again. Out of our heads and into our bodies, our hands, into our real, tactile existences.

Let us love, not just say we love. It has a hollow ring to it today. See how quickly it fades away in most cases?

In fact, I stopped using the word in my life. I let it build in me. I held my tongue when it leapt there and instead did something.  And the less I said it, the more I could do it. Tangibly. And the people around me responded in kind, the one’ s who got it. The one’s who had only words to give and expected words in return fell off, and just as well.

Hold your tongue and let your eyes, your hands and your actions speak for you, especially when it comes to love.

Your life will be muchhhhhhh the richer.

With love

🙂

Anadianant

13 Comments leave one →
  1. Laura permalink
    June 24, 2010 10:50 pm

    Ah, love. A ridiculously fantasized about illusion. I must agree with you – love is the action, not the word.

    Love is laying your warm hand on your baby’s soft back to make sure she’s breathing. Or caring for the feet of an old mother or grandmother. It’s stepping off the hysteria train to spend time listening to an old one ramble. It’s making sure there’s food for the darlings, or tucking them into warm blankets on a cold night. It is healing through thought or touch.

    American culture has warped love. Now it is the vile Valentine’s circus, or Mother’s Day madness…consumerism, spending, putting a monetary value and expectation and guilt trip on a made-up day, a manufactured celebration.

    One of the most repulsive manifestations of ‘love’ is marriage – including the wedding itself. The greed, thoughtlessness, anger, narcissism, self-centered, hateful behavior by those who are supposedly celebrating the most special day of their life is beyond comprehension. An American tragedy. And then beyond that – so you accomplish your goal of ‘landing’ your mate – and then try with every breath to bring them down? to change them? to criticize or berate them? Why? What in the world is the point?

    So, I concur. Show love. Be love. Embrace it within your own skin. Along with that, I say nurture goodness, embody kindness and act with decency. Loving one’s self is the foundation of peace, and from that – all good things can come.

    Safe travels.

    • June 26, 2010 7:35 pm

      Hmmmmmmm Laura-ji. Welcome!

  2. Darina permalink
    June 25, 2010 6:55 pm

    VA,

    You have expressed and shared as if reading my mind AND heart for I think, feel and act the same way. Love IS an action, process and flow and we better live the Love we are by acting lovingly. I LOVED what and how you share. Will write more for I’m now at Lima airport returning from Peru. Funny name coincidence for in Peru they use the word “Hampi’ as an equivalent of BLESSING.
    Would love to hear/read more of your journey in this magical place. Greetings & hugs (virtual for now 🙂

    • June 26, 2010 7:39 pm

      Greetings Darina, great to have struck such a chord. I hear dmaj and overtones.

      Peru and Lima. Please share your experiences via links to the comments here? I’m sure many would enjoy the journey.

      Hugs (V) and Welcome! 🙂

  3. Vee H Wong permalink
    September 24, 2010 3:52 pm

    Thank you. Great advice. Agree whole heartedly.

  4. Stephen Baze permalink
    June 19, 2011 6:19 am

    Too much talk and too little actions, a very concise perception indeed Vivek. Unfortunately, as you point out the word has lost a lot of its meaning for a lack of follow thru actions and overuse as a sooth sayers escape mechinism . Real love is actually in actions only as you suggest and cannot be judged in words.

    • June 20, 2011 4:15 am

      Thanks Stephen. 🙂 This one is close to my heart. Literally and otherwise. Too much love-talk, too little love-action in the world.

    • June 20, 2011 7:25 pm

      Isn’t it just Stephen? And I have to say that in America, I overdosed on the saying of it and seeing too little doing of it.

      Aaaarrrrgh! :-0 But such is how it is. We’ve lost depth as creatures capable of some serious depth. Ne?

  5. June 3, 2012 6:00 pm

    I love this post 😉 and I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve always tried to show as much love as I speak and truly enjoy the moments that are love-filled. Also, trying to live in the moment, not tomorrow’s moment or yesterday’s moment helps focus on the moment at hand and deciding how you will spend it… for me, spend it in love. 🙂

    • June 3, 2012 6:10 pm

      Clevvvah! And precisely! 🙂 Generally speaking…precisely!

  6. June 3, 2012 6:18 pm

    Oh, and I still love you regardless of your difficulty in loving the love word 🙂

  7. Kapnos permalink
    May 25, 2015 8:43 am

    Hehe. I ‘love’ how you speak about significance of action more than mere words. I think it must be applicable for all things we say, and don’t do. Also, i love what debbie says in the above comment. sweet

    • May 25, 2015 9:02 am

      🙂 Ekta ji, hain na?

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