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Anniversary thoughts…

June 9, 2011


One year to the day, at probably this hour too, perhaps a tad earlier, I launched

It was an interesting beginning because I had meant to use the name Vivekanand, but the way wordpress had their sign-in, it became Anadianant’s blog. So I ran with it. Anadianant was my first web-handle (@hotmail) back when. It means without beginning or end. But I’ve felt called to be myself, in the open , more and more as the blog progressed. I’m Vivek and am comfortable to be associated with all my thoughts expressed here. Nothing to hide, no desire or urge to hide. Enough hiding anyways, yes?

I was joking at the studio yesterday that the average family’s living room carpet is one metaphorically lumpy affair, with all that’s dusted under.

Enough hiding out of fear. I’ve been in the system, was actually a State VVIP for around 18 months. if they want you, they will get you.

So not hiding, but merely stating considered points of view, some passionately felt, some deeply experienced and engaging in a healthy exchange of ideas with like minded (but not confirmationally biased, strong independent voices in their own rights) people from around the world.

It has been very very liberating.

A very big thank you to Zero Hedge. I cut my on-line teeth in Fight Club, not my style at all, but I found my feet on a board full some of the smartest minds on the web. Per capita? Guaranteed. And I started posting my “by-line”, a little hesitantly at first, but since they did not ask me to cease and desist, I made it my signature. And the exchanges, the learning and most of all, the many who’ve come by here….. made this out-post an in-post 🙂

I am not being in the least trite when I say I think of all the readers here as family. Think about that for a moment. What does one look for most in their exchange with the immediate and larger family? A sense of being understood. A sense of being “got”. And then look around at most bio-logical families…..



Unnnnnnyways, so here we are. A community of conscious seekers. Of challenging questioners. Of respectful listeners. Some of my old friends are here. The first person who met me through the blog is on his way from the Netherlands in less than a week for a two-week get to know Vivek, get to know India visit. Such an amazing feeling, can you imagine?

I have a deep sense of bringing a community on the ground somewhere, anywhere, manywhere. And the first steps are being taken.

And the project (A book, a DVD and a surprise or three)….. so enriching. Suddenly, a team. Enlightened 20 somethings all. I wish you could hear what I’m listening to right now. Soon! 😉

And such a literal and figurative rolling thunder of signs, omens. Energies. Absolutely other-worldly, till you realize there is no such thing.  Seamless exchange of energy, ideation, in-spiration. Guidance.

I am having the time of my life. 🙂

And as always, the rough and tumble of the internal dialouge, occasionally silenced in meditation, but always questioning. What is this? Why here? Why now? What is here and now?

Like Richard Bach said in Jonathan Livingston Seagull, take away space and all you have left is here, take away time and all you have is now….. and between here and now lies infinity. Okay, I added that last bit, but what is the reason for being? Is there as reason for being?

Are we all really equal till we really are? Is equality and it’s perception as such one and the same?

What pray is masculinity? Femininity? Are there axiomatic building blocks? At what point does the split begin to count?

What is the place of humanity in the grand mix? Were we really meant to be top-dog predators? Really? i mean look at us. The weakest per-capita of any species on the planet. Have you ever tried to kill a flea? The jumping kind? that is tough and tailored to it’s environment.

Look at us though. Can’t run, climb, bite, rip, kick, scratch, punch to save our lives…. except against each other.

And so we are the most self-destructive species. No other species kills their own in such numbers. It is insane. But logical too. We are cannibalizing as a species. We’ve out-grown it all.

I think we were the guardian species. The enlightened bringers of balance.

Till, somewhere, we lost our own.

The fall of man, as I see it, was the fall from guradian to predator status. Whenever it happened. How many ever pre-cataclysm civilizations ago.

And civilization as we know it, is based on death. Civilization, especially this malicious form of it, is a technological civilization with a strict set of interaction protocols, that have become ever more machine-like, losing their humanity. If you cannot admit you are a slave to technology, I have a techoholics anonymouse for you! 😉

And since it has human greed and violence as “given”s in it’s philosophical bedrock, we were, in a sense “bound” to be at this juncture.

And in case my tone sounds gloomy, I welcome the opportunity to be here now. What a time. To see the end of death based, nihilistic negativism. To be a part of a new emergence. An innovation of the species.

There is an addiction that we have to give up, willingly. What might that be? An addiction to fear? Look at the dominant symbology of the day. Lady gaga and her ilk, the new Madonnas…. death-fetish is writ large in popular culture. Even the excessive sex-fetish is as much a death fetish, since sex and death are but two sides of the sphere, eh? 😉 A holy embrace. Yab-yum.

We are addicted to fear. Even the excessive laughter we see today, pumped many times over by the famous sit-com laugh-track…..That kind of manic laughter is a release of the same root energy that is the root of fear.

And fear springs from surprise. Cognitive dissonance. The known is never fear-inducing. We know our limits well for the most part.

But the un-known. The surprise….laughter spits out the excess energy built up by the cognitive dissonance induced by the “punch” line. Get it? The punch-line shocks out the laughter, which is cognitive dissonance embodied. Very interesting, Gurdjieff pointed out, that nowhere in the bible does it ever say that Jesus laughed.

And we are addicted to laughter. Constant escape valve, a hiss-hiss for this cog-diss inducing world. Hahahahahaha.

ROTFL. Har de har…..

Fear is only the de-stabilizing cognitive-dissonance induced by the un-known.

So ridding of fear is a matter of making everything known. And the beauty is that there is a path to that place. Not fear-less, Un-fearing.

And that is to Know thy SELF. As with-out, so with-in. The more you are aware of your SELF, the more you know outwards, it just works.

It’s all spirals of energy, caught by something, con-densing (densifying) into the womb of their environment, but ultimately always to be un-bound again. And a gordian knot, slipping along the mobius strip of our existences, our real purpose being to un-tie it.

And the secret, an open one at that, for it has been said over and over, is awareness. Absolute, axiomatically complete awareness is the un-tying of the Gordian knot that keeps us on the path of constant for-getting.

And the key to awareness is breath. Dimensionally full breath.

Why dimensionally?

Because breath is time. Ponder that. For “us” time begins with our first “breath” and ends with our last.

Time is breath. The faster you breathe, the faster it flies. See how industrialization has sped us up? Notice how many people are running? Why? To exhaust yourself? Running for exercise, such an in-sane, typically human, self-destructive practice.

In slowness, we gather quality, in speed we snatch quantity.

I’ll take quality over quantity any day or night.

Know your breath, know time…..your time. Knowing time is to flow, not fight. Aikido is such a beautiful analogy for this. We are alive with, and are depleted against. Makes perfect sense, does it not?

Breath too is such a beautiful metaphor. In-spire, ex-pire. Life and death, fullness and vacuum. Both sides wound, literally even. Our noses are shaped to spiral the air in. All the way in. The passage is a masterful construct of vortex flow. But of course right?

How was that for an anniversary ramble? I’ll not even go back and read it! Off to the studio for work on the tracks…

Breath…..breathe….awareness……understanding…….balance, flow……..back and forth… pendulum….. still it.

Thanks to everyone here, for reading, for your attention and energy.

Much love all around,


39 Comments leave one →
  1. clueless one permalink
    June 9, 2011 3:06 pm

    Yet another wonderful read. Thanks Vivek. And congrats on the anniversary.

    You have a way of calming me down, getting me to see a much bigger picture and understand it all starts within. The more rabbit holes I go down, in regards to all the insanity, be it personal or global, few things have helped me to just sit back at times…be thankful for who I have around me, and my true blessing of a “wake up” call. If you ever get back to the states…you be sure to let me know. I’ll have a room made up for you…my friend.

    Be well.

    • June 10, 2011 10:46 am

      Cluefull one, your words have always rung true. Wisdom over data anyday, hmmmmm? And thanks for your offer, you just never know, do you? Take care and yes, in is the only knowable un-known, if not by feel then by “feel”. Sometimes form suggests enough. Yes?
      Can we ever study the inside of a full tube of air by cutting a gash in it to insert a camera? That is how oxy-moronish our ways and existence have become.

  2. nestort permalink
    June 9, 2011 3:26 pm

    Reading you is always a pleasure. Well, it is much more than that. Certainly you are not the only one with this more-spiritual-less-material set of mind, but you happen to be the only one I listen to (read to, actually). I knew of you via zerohedge, and I’m pretty glad I did. There is really a whole world beside the one I’ve been educated to live in. And I think you have put it quite clear. Know your inner self and you will know the out-of-yourself. It is as if I were living in a 2D world, only moving horizontally, and never knowing that, in fact I could also move vertically. Time to fly, then! 🙂

    • June 13, 2011 7:08 am

      Hola nestor, glad to have you here. How are things in your neck of the woods on a daily life basis?

      And yes, discovery of a third dimension, magical. And then the fourth? Upwards and inwards, always. Fly indeed. Thanks for sharing.

  3. nadall permalink
    June 9, 2011 5:10 pm

    Thanks Vivek for the ramble …. I love your blog and thoughts. Thank you for putting into words your thoughts about laughter. It has long made me uncomfortable instead of happy and now I know why. There is one area that is clean though … babies laughter is absolutely full of joy and that’s why it’s so awesome to hear and share in. When an infant/toddler laughs, “heaven” rings out here on “earth”. Thanks again.

    • June 13, 2011 7:06 am

      nadall, isn’t that fascinating about laughter. I’ve also been a life-long smiler, inner laugher, except on occasion. Made a lot of sense to me when I got it.

      And in the light of the above, imagine a child’s constant cognitive-dissonance at new, un-known discoveries. And since they carry little/no baggage, the resulting laughter is innocent and free.

      Thanks for reading and sharing.

  4. June 9, 2011 6:00 pm

    Happy anniversary to Aadivaahan Vivek! This is a great space. It is good to know where to come to find my old friend and come away with a thing or two.

  5. June 9, 2011 6:39 pm

    Thus goes the pendulum…. “twix”, happiness and sadness, love and hate, right and wrong, war and peace and countless others, when all the while that sweet unborn essence, yearns for the conscious light of day….

    Realising this is not a dream, is only achievable, when one realizes that this is a dream…

    Happy anniversary my friend, with hopes for many more!!!


    • July 1, 2011 4:50 am

      Eso, long time no see, all well? Do tell. Regards.

      • July 1, 2011 8:21 am

        All is well my friend when… ” things happen in the only way they can happen”. Especially when one recognises and accepts, the finite possibilities of a short season.

        The Summer is my “exoteric busy season” here in Quebec Canada, filled with creativity, building, repairing and reflecting. “Linear Time” becomes a precious commodity, best used wisely.

        Not to worry though, I keep current with my reading which definitely includes your blog, among the others of fine quality impressions!

        Je vous souhaite un bel été…

        à temps tôt …


  6. Karan permalink
    June 9, 2011 8:29 pm

    Happy anniversary Vivek. Congratulations as it seems you are achieving what you set out to achieve. I´ve been reading the blog since it pretty much started (thanks to Zero Hedge), found it hard to understand where you were coming from at times, but always came back for more. Now as I re-visit your old posts, I always get something new gem out of it. The fractal nature of the world is something I really see now, as with-out so with-in 🙂 so simple, but so true. Agreed with clueless one, your blog is a place of solice and calm when things get to crazy in the outside and inside world. Thanks for everything, its truly appreciated.

    • June 10, 2011 10:40 am

      Karan, thanks for your presence and participation, few but always deep. Glad the blog is like an onion for you It has both temporal and a-temporal aspects, by chance.
      And the in-sight about fractality is a big a-ha. An “I” opener. 🙂 Congratulations and you are welcome.

  7. June 10, 2011 3:57 am

    I want to add my congratulations as well. I’m a more recent reader, so I’m enjoying picking my way through your old posts….such a treasure trove. I share your sense that mankind has undergone a devolution from pre-cataclysmic civilizations long past…is it the ignorance of and separation from our origins has left us in such fear? Though we must live in the present to engage our spirits, is the truth about our history important?

    • June 10, 2011 10:38 am

      Ally, we are at the perfect balance of past and present, always, eh? Notice too that later and earlier are both “then”. That was then, this is now, that will be then. In hindi, the word for yesterday and tomorrow is the same… Kal. And as a side note, the words for Now and Today are both A words (Aaj and Abhi) as is the word for the number one (Ake).
      And many is Un-ake. How’s that for your first hindi lesson? 🙂

  8. dublinmick permalink
    June 10, 2011 6:38 am

    Very nice and I might started using the name dublinmick while commenting on the dog poet’s site. I was just anonymous for awhile and then began using it so people could identify with what I was saying. Finally I opened a blog for login purposes when someone began using the same name. From there I decided to open a blog with it. Once you open a blog with it you are stuck with it.

    Bholanath has unleashed another bolt.

    Vivek have you noticed an improvement in your blog template? I mean mine now shows the avatar at the bottom, colored logins to facebook etc. I never had this before. I am wondering if I have been placed on a special server! Or if this is just something new wordpress came up with? The new version works better though.

    • June 11, 2011 11:36 am

      As a mother, the concerns of this author, about cultural and institutional abuse of children, are in the forefront of my mind. Home-schooling looks more and more like an imperative.

  9. Aggelos permalink
    June 10, 2011 8:23 am

    I love the analogy to Aikido. Something very close to my heart.. I am a student of the art. Recently, I had an “accident” (have you got any thoughts on what to call “accidents”, its anachronistic to insist on the term when you really feel there is no such thing?) during practice which, though not permanently debilitating, has sidelined me for many weeks now and for many months to come. My connection with the art now is to to remain as centered as possible and to focus on breathing. Most of your writings resonate with me but recently even more so in light of my physical predicament. On anniversaries, it is said in Greece “may you reach one hundred” and that is my wish to you from the eye of the cyclone just before it crashes on us. Keep up the good work.

    • June 10, 2011 9:59 am

      🙂 Synchronicity and Serendipity are my favourites. Serendipity more so, it has a certain feel to it. Serendip. Incidentally that word was coined by Arthur C Clark (Serendip was a name for Sri Lanka and he found paradise on earth Serendipitiously!, I like the origin of word myths and stories).

      And I feel your predicament deeply. My whole journey in-ward began through sporting injuries, specifically tennis injuries. Both Shoulders and both hips. They forced me to look for the core, touch it. Because true healing lies in allowing the core, which holds your un-injured image in perfection, to touch the injury. Can you see that? please try the first exercise ( and if you feel called. I would consider it the perfect rehabilitation practice.

      For being strong in our bones, we do not need to overwork our muscles and heart, but you know that. The flow nourishes, ne?

      • June 10, 2011 5:08 pm

        This is very similar to my own experience. My journey inward accelerated a large amount while I was recovering from some surgery. The down time gave me a great opportunity to search through the web. This led me first to Zero Hedge where I found your blog. From there my journey has branched in to numerous directions.

        Keep up the great work, I am looking forward to seeing your project.

  10. June 10, 2011 1:07 pm

    Happy anniversary Vivek..! I’ve been a lurker on ZH for quite some time; it’s where I’ve read your posts and have re-discovered the path to my-self. Your blog has provided me a place for balance; a trip-read through your archives is always enlightening……thanks for your hard work and self-less, humble dedication…Mike

    • June 13, 2011 6:44 am

      Thanks so much Mike. It’s been a fascinating year for me as well as you can imagine. In fact, my progression is perhaps writ large on these pages, eh? 🙂
      Glad you found something here to deepen your process/journey.

  11. Lencho de Aztlan permalink
    June 10, 2011 5:42 pm

    One trip around the sun, congratulations Vivek as it has been a virtuous cycle. Truth leads to truth, and how evident this is as ZH has lead so many truth seekers here, including myself. Many thanks for sharing and leading others to share- the cycle ripples out!

    • June 13, 2011 7:02 am

      Muchos gracias mi amigo. If your handle is an indicator of where you hail from, I have some old genetic roots that call me there. In fact, in my time in the US, people always assumed I was a spanish speaker. Some old lives, lived shaman like. 🙂 Where do you live, if you don’t mind me asking? Broadly or specifically.
      Thanks for coming by and sharing.

      • Lencho de Aztlan permalink
        June 14, 2011 5:54 pm

        Don’t mind at all hermano. I am from Mora County, New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment and their are definitely some old souls living at a completely different pace here. Around these parts they use the word curandero for shaman and there is a very deep, mysterious, mainly oral history about this.

        I’m not surprised at all that people assumed you were un hispano-hablante here en los estados… funny how where you are in the world affects what people assume about you no?

        • July 1, 2011 5:17 am

          No surprise Amigo. My favourite state in the 48. Christ in the Desert, Ghost Ranch, Stunning vistas, Curanderos and Curanderas, Horses….. what more could one ask for eh?
          I almost moved there.

  12. HL&S permalink
    June 11, 2011 7:20 am

    Thank you Vivek for sprawling yourself out upon a white canvas. I, as I read more of your thoughts and sensations have developed quite a bit of respect for you. HL&S

    • June 13, 2011 6:42 am

      HL&S, much appreciated. The sprawl is an on-going process. 🙂
      Thanks for sharing and please feel free to share often.

  13. June 11, 2011 3:18 pm

    Love your truly profound words of wisdom, Vivek. It has long been my belief that human beings are genetically flawed. Our predisposition to violence and death are not normal, healthy, traits, nor are they in balance with nature. As you point out so eloquently in your post, humans are the only species who routinely kill their own kind.
    There is something better coming very soon now. Something cosmic and wondrous to behold. A new beginning for mankind and a spiritual transcendence for everyone who can truly free their mind.
    Regards, SDT

    • June 13, 2011 6:41 am

      Thanks for the sharing and reading AJ. I found a lot of my In-sights coming from a core dis-comfort with the system. And slowly you realize that all your discomfort is fractally reflected in every sphere of our lives. A vicious cycle. And here we are.

      And I agree and the transcendence is coming, but for how many? It’s going to be a tough few years going forward and I pray that as many people as possible find true, inner balance.

  14. Just a lurker. permalink
    June 12, 2011 9:59 pm

    Another lurker, both at ZH and here.
    Thank you for your contribution to all of us. Your writings often bring me towards the peace or balance that I seek, but rarely glimpse.
    May all your undertakings be blessed.

    • June 13, 2011 6:35 am

      Thanks for visiting/sharing Justalurker. Good to see lurkers coming out.

      And thank you for the blessings. We are all in it together! 🙂

  15. Orly permalink
    June 13, 2011 1:43 am

    Amazing how you continually bring up the very things I was just thinking about!
    Time and how it passes…

    I was bagging leaves in the hot Texas summer. It was 100 degrees F outside and I was in the shade, sitting before what turned out to be 12 bags of leaves. (There are two eight-foot oaks in my backyard…) I said to myself, “Self, I wish there were a way to blink and have all of it done and over with and in the bag. It is so hot!”
    I was shocked to find myself immediately reprimanding me for having thought that! How is it really so hot? Is it really? No, I said. I mean it is- but it is not unbearable.
    And you wish now to “blink” your life away? Why, no, I didn’t really mean it like that-
    Oh, but that’s whay you said.
    Hmmmm. Yes, I guess it is.

    It got me to thinking about Frost’s poem Mending Wall. The tone of the man in the poem was much like mine was looking over the leaves. Why every year must he replace these stones along the wall, in the middle of the woods, where there is no one else around. He comes to the conclusion that good fences make good neighbours…
    But what he really meant was that mending walls in man’s way of thwarting the forces of Nature and, in his own ideal, then become closer to God.

    My bagging leaves is my own way of overcoming Nature, though I don’t believe it realy gets me any closer to God, I said.
    Yes but the point is not that you are becoming like God but that you are transforming God’s world, by way of Nature, to make it a place of your own. And the time spent doing that should be appreciated- relished even!

    In short, I ended up really enjoying spending the time in the Texas heat bagging leaves, for it gave me the time to appreciate that very time. It gave me wonderful and enlightening thoughts. It made me slow down, scoop one pan of leaves into the bag at a time.
    I knew in that moment that my life would then slow down; that there would be no more frenzied and harried moments, for I realised that if I could relish and observe those moments in the leaves, I could enjoy every moment and relish my time for the rest of my life.

    • Vee Wong permalink
      June 13, 2011 3:37 am

      Orly, thank you…You inspired me to “see” a meaning of the inward journey. IMHO, it equates meditation. The “labouring” turned into a flow. As Vivek said it had to do with our breath, in and out, living. You managed to add quality to your act.

      It’s so clearer now…Since I learned from some in ZH and then got on to Vivek’s one turn around the sun (what a turn that has been)…that the more you delve in-ward, the more fractal you come to “realise” (not in plain sight but it’s all there for the learner to acquire consciously, or not). The more you emerse self into the light (one) and then we become known to and sharing with each other like a family, a community (two)…And there will be a third (healing) and a fourth light (multi-dimensional roaming)…en-light-ment, tee hee.

      Calmness and solace, inspiring and breathing, Vivek the teacher, and I am enjoying learning from you.

      Thanks for sharing.

  16. downrodeo@ZH permalink
    June 13, 2011 5:53 pm

    Congratulations on your anniversary, Vivek. I love your writings, and I wish you all the best in your second year. Thank you.

  17. June 13, 2011 9:26 pm

    also a recent(ish) discoverer (via zerohedge), and a very infrequent commentator (anywhere, for that matter, as I don’t go places regular enough to see replies – perhaps I should engage more). i’m one of those europeans who are being so bad to the world, and i’m half hoping that Cayce was right about what we have forthcoming, though for the sake of my kiddies, I also hope not (although what’s the worst that can happen? the ride ends? well, get back on! Earth needs to heal, after all).

    am in the continual process of reading up on various, so-called metaphysical ideas and am conscious of just how much they all, at core, say the same thing. many of the ideas I’ve seen from your blog have helped firm this view… thanks. makes me feel like i’m not completely wasting my time on the internet…

    re: your laughter/fear comment – I was walking to work this morning, and noticed that my local newspaper was offering the chance to win… a tank of petrol! I had to laugh out loud (surely there’s an acronym for that somewhere). these times are very interesting indeed, but i’m so glad I was here to see it. if I ever have a gravestone, I want on it these words – ‘I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.’

    and that ramble is why I don’t comment very often….

  18. bingaling permalink
    June 14, 2011 8:17 pm

    Happy Anniversary . Keep it coming !

  19. Stephen Baze permalink
    June 16, 2011 6:20 am

    Vivek – Sports injuries and ZH ???? That is too weird. A few years back I broke off the top of my scapula and destroyed my right shoulder completely, severing or stretching nearly all connective tissue beyond the natural limits. As well I fractured my skull and my brain swelled up to the point that ooze was coming out of my ears and a 105 temp for days in and out of consciousness. This also was the beginning of a major journey which led to ZH and many other sites/sources of truth and information about what is real and the uncovering of all the illusions we live under ? Since then my entire life has changed completely although I was aware of much of what is discussed here previously, the near death experiences always raise the bar of learning and reality. Very interesting others seem to be having the same journey/experience for similar reasons . We must be here for a reason, collectively IMO ? Perhaps to share experiences and knowledge as needed to survie the coming onslaught of changes about to take place. This is all about to change but not as many seem to think for the better necessarily. Many people are going to perish simply for being unprepared mentally/physically and emotionally. The idea that all is going to be well simply because we think it, is complete foolishness and a pipe dream at best . None the less I wish all well . There may be no solutions at this point, I don’t really know !

  20. arie permalink
    March 1, 2012 1:26 pm


    What is your source of spirals of energy?


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