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Dis-AB-Use…

September 1, 2021

BAD words, like abuse are toxic to the speaker and listener.

Language is the root of this existence.

To call someone a motherfucker is terrible.

It’s been normalized. That’s all.

Fuck you, fuck this, fuck that…. if words are primary, first and all powerful, then what a strange world we are speaking into existence where on the street (in India it’s TERRIBLE, men abuse filthly in the normal course, the language river was deeply muddied here as well) it’s not uncommon to hear streams of abuse, into cell phones or boisterously with friends. Now the women are getting into it as well. Liberation, the freedom to abuse openly and fuck freely….at least the fauxminist version.

But I digress…….

The TONgue must be purified. It reflects a pure mind.

I can say for sure dropping abuse changed my vibe, completely.

I was in the Navy, it was THE routine and expected of us officers.

And then, like all good More-ons (not Less-ons), I got mine nice and good. It was almost an initiation into kindness…in a pretty spectacular location…..

So, the year was 1992 and Lt. Chaturvedi, fresh ly minted Weapons Maintainance Officer of INS Vikrant, India’s largest and oldest ship, was 23, hot off training, cocksure and nasty tongued.

It was like being thrown in the deep end. An aircraft carrier is like a 12 level maze of compartments, corridors, hatchways, ladders, bulkheads, piping, wiring, tanks….

An UNHOLY mess. And old. And I had to get to know it, fast.

My right hand man was a genial sikh, Master Chief Petty Officer Singh. He was 50. 2 years to retire. Had spent 30 of those years on this ship. He knew every nook and cranny like the back of his hand. He had seen my kind come and go. He had me sussed. HE knew I needed his help, but wanted me to ask, nicely.

Anyways, having got called out by my Commander for some oversight, I summoned Master Sahib, as I used to call him, to the flight hanger. A huge, cavernous empty deck, which holds the aircraft, and a lift that can take them to the flight deck.

And there, for no real reason, I let loose on Master Sahib. Doing what I thought officer’s did. He was unmoved. Unimpressed. Unafraid.

And as I was AB-using I looked him in the eye and I saw, of all things, pity.

It was like a body blow.

Here was this man old enough to be my father and I was giving him a tongue lashing, for no good reason, in terrible language. And it was BOOMING in the hanger.

It was like a switch went off. I stopped and immediately apologized to him. Profusely. I’m good like that. Direct, honest, unafraid. He saw what had transpired. It was totally different from that moment on. I had advance notice on everything, deep info on sailor morale, family issues….just like that. When I left 18 months later, we all had a good cry over beer and pakodas at the Sailor’s mess.

But from that moment on, I pulled back, really hard and within 6 months, no more. And it was really strange, it was like I popped out of a certain dominant vibe.

So, it coming on to 30 years now, my tongue has been relatively very very clean. My mind still goes places.

We all have things to rage at, and our rage language, by habit, involves abuse 🙂

But I highly recommend this fast to everyone as well.

If mofo and gaamdu and chumtiya and bc and mc is part of your daily, fast from it. See how it feels. See how people react to you differently.

Also good to remember that these words carry their vibe whether WE like it or not. A certain resonance that occupies, by default then, a part of our spectrum. I wanted none of it.

It’s been good.

Happy fasting 😉

May be an image of 3 people, beard and outdoors
5 Comments leave one →
  1. Raj permalink
    September 1, 2021 8:07 pm

    Brilliant Vivek!

    I have been fasting for the last 5 years and it’s quite refreshing! Using abuse made me feel worst!

    Since I started fasting my mind is quiter, although occasionally much much less now a little heated road rage happens for a split second lol… then back to calm. 🙂

    I’m amazed, since actively fasting the amount of times there is no reaction, when in the past it would be full on abuse…lol:-)

    Thanks for sharing….allowed me to self reflect! And Lol!!!

  2. Nagma Sharma permalink
    September 1, 2021 11:49 pm

    ❤️❤️

  3. Hélène permalink
    September 2, 2021 3:24 pm

    Once again, you give me pause. I jokingly justify my profanity as a sign of intelligence, but obviously, I think you are correct. Words matter and are powerful, we are responsible for what we invoke. Thanks for sharing your beautiful mind.

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