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SCIENCE…at it again!

September 12, 2021

Annnnnnnnnd lay dees and gent le Mans, back to save us, just when this universe had it’s chance to eat us, gobble us whole, burn us to a crisp etc. etc….. SCIENCE.

While you and I sleep, SCIENCE plods, nay races on.

SCIENCE, our holy guardian, the sword and the shield, the sum Ummmmm Num num and Boner of our egg Xi’s stance.

The un SENTI-Mental Senti-nal.

Scanning high and low, far and wide.

SCIENCE, the risk miti-gator.

See you Lator.

Gotta be SCIENCE-ing.

Did you know, for example, that the SUN wants to eat us? C?

YOU did not, but somewhere, in the dark of the night, as a SETI researcher slumped over his flickering green screen, A HOLY KNIGHT of SCIENTISM, soldiered on, for you , for me …oh for Humani TEE!

And he saw it, clear as MUD, with his SCIENTIFIC eyes, the SUN.

He had to do something about this hot burning ball.

He had to figure out a plan to go 92,000,000 Miles and put a blankey over it.

Or a shutter.

Or wait a minute, the sun weighs just…emmmm…let’s see….

OH HEY, how convenient…

The SUN weighs….333,000 times the earth. 333 thousand.

Haaaahaaaa….1.989 x 10 to the power of 30.

Kilograms. Ask them how they know?

Errrrummmm….M-Ass Spectroscopy. Ah, okay.

So this intrepid SCIENTIST figured out that we have to MOVE THE SUN.

Thass rite, could not move heaven OR earth, so let’s mooooove the SUN!

Supposedly, a mass that massive, spinning and racing and doing whatnot…. easy right,

NAASAA will send 333,000 Fans and blow blow blow. What if they blow the SUN OUT?

There are some calculations, some ASSumptions and such that say, it will be okay.

These solar powered fans will draw power from the Sun (how cool eh?) and blow and blow and blow.

Now this intrepid genius did say it will take a LONG time to move the SUN. Even a couple of MM.

But hey, taxpayer funded, who’s complaining eh?

And no, I did not make this UP!

The Headline:

“Scientist figures out how to move our sun to avoid space collisions”

The Bye bye line:

“Dodging a bullet with stellar engines would be a slow process though. Very slow.”

Stellar Engines.

Haaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa…….

Of course, some CGI to accompany such grand revelations…

What I like about SCIENCE, it engenders NO SHAME in it’s practioners.

Nun!

Behold: CGIence!

No photo description available.
4 Comments leave one →
  1. Raj permalink
    September 12, 2021 8:57 am

    Hey Vivek- have you noticed how none of their science makes sense any more? Whether it’s c0v1d or climate change or anything the say…in the UK they are filling the sky’s everyday with chemical clouds! Every Morning there are many planes in the sky with huge ‘con’ trails that just seem to stay and expand into huge sun blocking chemical sheets! It so obviously yet the politicians deny any sun blocking program exists and the sheeple carry about thier normal behaviour totally oblivious of the chemical nano parricles raining down..then the media run stories about how air pollution is going up and why so may sheeple are suffering from asthma!

    Science it tell you science!! Lol

    • September 13, 2021 2:57 am

      Science, as I am learning, has never made sense at all Raj. We were just befuddled into believing bullshit! Chemtrails are just one of so many wayz and means…..

  2. Hélène permalink
    September 12, 2021 5:24 pm

    You’re on fire lately, Vivek! Loving your wordplay and I agree, science is just another faith-based religion if you won’t/ can’t dare to question or challenge it. Keep questioning everything!

    • September 13, 2021 2:58 am

      Haaaahaa, thanks Helene, I don’t know what it is about SCIENCE!!!! It brings out the sarc munster in me! Hope you’re doing well in the midst of the madness…

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